The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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