Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
