Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
