I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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