You're completely useless in the revolution.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
