Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
In America we eat man semen.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
ttyl tear gas
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
