It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
