and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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