You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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