My cat gives me a boner
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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