I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize