his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
