Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
