I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
