I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
