She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wish I only lived at night.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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