idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
