I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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