Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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