Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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