Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
