We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
