please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize