you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
