Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
