HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize