I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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