stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
