No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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