yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
