Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
