She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
