well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
