Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
