i may or may not be watching the land before time
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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