I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
