do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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