I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
