tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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