just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize