Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
