I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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