Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
