Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
