i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
True strength comes from lack of pants
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
