Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
