He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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