"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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