If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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