also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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