The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
