i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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