she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
