There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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