There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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