i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
