Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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