it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
