at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
