saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
this will be a night to untag.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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