If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
