No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
