i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
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