...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
