scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
