My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
