Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
