He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
