Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
