Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
