honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
