I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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