dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
