i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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