Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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