Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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