The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
