i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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