fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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