Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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