Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
