yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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