before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
