have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
