Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Damn victory sex feels great
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
