Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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