i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize